Spousanity

The insane things my spouse says to keep me sane.

May 15, 2013 6:20 pm
thefrogman: Lunar Baboon [website | twitter] [h/t: pleatedjeans]

thefrogman:

Lunar Baboon [website | twitter]

[h/t: pleatedjeans]

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

May 3, 2013 7:45 pm
My husband sent this to me at work today and I was dying!

My husband sent this to me at work today and I was dying!

April 30, 2013 7:13 pm

pleatedjeans:

24 Parents Who Are Doing it Right

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

7:09 pm

(Source: robotmayo, via meme4u)

3:05 pm
lefthandedtoons: Tree | Left-Handed Toons Comic URL: http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/1432/ I would say this to my child

lefthandedtoons:

Tree | Left-Handed Toons

I would say this to my child

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

April 22, 2013 6:41 am
My hero

My hero

April 16, 2013 8:33 pm
  • Me: honey what time are we gonna eat the baby? OMG I mean FEED the baby!
  • Husband: well that's a modest proposal...
April 9, 2013 8:13 pm
New York City Classes for Pregnant Women, New Moms: Don't Say "Bossy"

amotherisborn:

I like this picture going around FB, even though the quote is sloganny and simplistic.

My firstborn is a boy, and was an only child for 6 years. During that time, I noticed some patterns in what “boys’ moms” tended to say and what “girls’ moms” tended to say, and one of them was: moms of…

6:05 am
herspanic: she is so lucky but why does she cry  Me: what kind of pizza do you want baby? Cheese?Husband: can we get the giant party pizza???Me: No. Husband: Why not?Me: Because its just two of us and we don’t need it.Husband: Yes we do! I’m party pizza-betic! I need party pizza stat!

herspanic:

she is so lucky but why does she cry 

Me: what kind of pizza do you want baby? Cheese?

Husband: can we get the giant party pizza???

Me: No.

Husband: Why not?

Me: Because its just two of us and we don’t need it.

Husband: Yes we do! I’m party pizza-betic! I need party pizza stat!

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)

April 8, 2013 9:30 pm
manvchild: The 10 Stages of Child Development I’m no scientist and my kid is only 7 years old, but here’s what I think are the true 10 stages of child development, without all the fancy science talk: Homunculus:  Weird, tiny, jarringly human-like but not yet a person.  Babies are immediately homunculi.  They shit, fart and groan.  They are irrational, scary, seemingly fragile. Easiest baby on Earth:  Sleeping through the night, not fussy:  basically an angel.  Babies often pass through this phase of fucking with you, lulling you into complacency.   Angry Mo-Fo:  WTF.  What happened?  This baby now is a tiny monster, fussy, gassy, demanding.  Maddening.   Most amazing baby on Earth:  Holy shit this baby is rolling over.  Holy shit this baby is crawling.  Holy shit this baby is smiling (gassy). Portable:  Outside, walking around, toting a baby. You are on top, son!  Like having the cutest dog ever, you get a lot of attention for that cute baby strapped to you. Tiny, Slow, Distractible Companion:  Namaste.  If you like slow walks, meandering only a couple of blocks over an hour with many diversions to examine flowers, piles of stuff, garbage and a cloud, then you will love this tiny, slow, distractible companion of yours. Stroller-hog:  Exhausted, irritable, stroller-hog.  Those legs are purely decorative so do not try to get this kid to walk around.  Stroller, stroller, stroller.  Become a master-folder, learn to carry that fucker up and down some stairs, cuz this kid is not gonna fucking walk. T.P. (Tiny Person):  A million opinions, lots to talk about, you’ve got a tiny person now.  I guess you kinda always knew this was a tiny person, but wow are they a tiny person now. Pre-Teenager (1st grader):  Good to joke with, embarrassed by you, keeps secrets. iPad addict.  Weird how they seem to be absorbing pop-culture you don’t understand already… Grownup (Teenager):  I’m not yet here, and I don’t even want to understand this stage yet.  Sullen, too-cool-for-school?  Your teenager likes to make fun of people like you for making googie faces at babies!  Can’t you put kids in a box to stop them from becoming teenagers? What did I miss? The Ed psych major in me loves that the picture is from Piaget (my favorite theorist….yes I have a favorite theorist). The new mom in me finds the rest of this post apropos & hysterical.

manvchild:

The 10 Stages of Child Development

I’m no scientist and my kid is only 7 years old, but here’s what I think are the true 10 stages of child development, without all the fancy science talk:

  1. Homunculus:  Weird, tiny, jarringly human-like but not yet a person.  Babies are immediately homunculi.  They shit, fart and groan.  They are irrational, scary, seemingly fragile.
  2. Easiest baby on Earth:  Sleeping through the night, not fussy:  basically an angel.  Babies often pass through this phase of fucking with you, lulling you into complacency.  
  3. Angry Mo-Fo:  WTF.  What happened?  This baby now is a tiny monster, fussy, gassy, demanding.  Maddening.  
  4. Most amazing baby on Earth:  Holy shit this baby is rolling over.  Holy shit this baby is crawling.  Holy shit this baby is smiling (gassy).
  5. Portable:  Outside, walking around, toting a baby. You are on top, son!  Like having the cutest dog ever, you get a lot of attention for that cute baby strapped to you.
  6. Tiny, Slow, Distractible Companion:  Namaste.  If you like slow walks, meandering only a couple of blocks over an hour with many diversions to examine flowers, piles of stuff, garbage and a cloud, then you will love this tiny, slow, distractible companion of yours.
  7. Stroller-hog:  Exhausted, irritable, stroller-hog.  Those legs are purely decorative so do not try to get this kid to walk around.  Stroller, stroller, stroller.  Become a master-folder, learn to carry that fucker up and down some stairs, cuz this kid is not gonna fucking walk.
  8. T.P. (Tiny Person):  A million opinions, lots to talk about, you’ve got a tiny person now.  I guess you kinda always knew this was a tiny person, but wow are they a tiny person now.
  9. Pre-Teenager (1st grader):  Good to joke with, embarrassed by you, keeps secrets. iPad addict.  Weird how they seem to be absorbing pop-culture you don’t understand already…
  10. Grownup (Teenager):  I’m not yet here, and I don’t even want to understand this stage yet.  Sullen, too-cool-for-school?  Your teenager likes to make fun of people like you for making googie faces at babies!  Can’t you put kids in a box to stop them from becoming teenagers?

What did I miss?

The Ed psych major in me loves that the picture is from Piaget (my favorite theorist….yes I have a favorite theorist). The new mom in me finds the rest of this post apropos & hysterical.