have you taken your temperature lately? Has your fever gone down?
Me (hopped up on cold meds):
funny you should ask that. I just did and it told me it was a 36.7. I don't think I'm dead? Wouldn't I feel better if I was dead? I mean I probably wouldn't have this pressing urge to pee and no energy to get up if I died from this cold.
is the thermometer set to Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?
we live in America! Why would the thermome- oh shit. How did that happen?
...yes it was in Celsius. That makes a lot more sense. So great news! I'm not dead!